Continued on, and a welcome back of sorts…

26 05 2008


Well it was an edit, now it isnt, welcome back to myself, i’ve been meaning to write here, its still kind of unclusterfucked from the last four months. I have my bike exam (CBT) this Thursday so i hopefully wont be around this desk for too long anymore, going to get out more and do things, and stop my mind ticking over this. Come to conclusion i already knew is true, face facts that i lost, not big, i could have lost fucking huge.



23 04 2008

Life is getting back to normality after three months of heart ache and pointless-ness. Managed to pull a passing grade out of my arse for a presentation put together in 4 days, im proud of that, now imagine what i could have done without distraction and horror. And after all this one must ask…with friends like this who needs enemies? Seriously i’ve never felt so down in all my life like this. Good music is a cure, and good friendships, not the flakes, the liars and cheats (“took advice from the wrong shoulder” to quote Audioslave). Street Kings tonight, after ive been to Reading with a mate for a chat and a beer… I’m doing something tomorrow, cant remember what, i think cinema again and then Sennybridge to punch a twat in the nose, if i still feel like it…Its going to be a good weekend… either way 😀 


Is This Living?

16 04 2008

I had a post for this lined up, but atm i cant really see any good in putting it up, i feel fed up tho…

Getting on with it…

30 03 2008

There comes a point when you realize how stupid things have become, merely through booze i discovered this, I stayed drunk most of yesterday to combat the hangover and spent most of the night with good ‘old’ friends chatting things through, having some intellectual conversation with an American anthropology student, who was going out with another old friend. Wish i could have sat through more of it, but i needed my smokes.

People are trying to set things in motion for me, its not as if im not grateful, but im not in a place were i can make that kind of choice. I have to see how other things ive started finish…I have to decide which part of feng shui i should follow in regards to sleeping…I have to fix some relationships as they are strained and not normal any more.

I have to ultimately do some uni work which i keep putting off. And i have to distance myself from some who i should never have really put faith in from the beginning, its always reassuring to be told by others that someone is weird and you aint wrong in doubting them.

Might go for a run tomorrow to clear my head…

Oh its good to be back *hugs*

28 03 2008

^ see that above, thats how i feel, I have a decision to make that will mean I am damned if i do and damned if i dont, the largo phrase there would say i want to walk away, however everything else is saying its not in your nature to do so, you still care and although she may not care in the same capacity that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.

So this is true “Don’t you know that ill be around to guide you, through your weakest moments to leave them behind you…” That’s what i want to do…

People Need To Get Over A Fucking Egg Sandwich…

13 03 2008

First off let me retell the story, with no bias.

 4 Story, i was working with one of the command staff watching the town from an NVG scope, my team were holding 4 story while i was upstairs watching enemy activity. I was ordered to escort the 3 IC back to Hq, which i did with a member of Shock, Shock was to relieve my guys, however during the course of me heading back to HQ and having some food which i had’nt had all freaking day Shock were diverted on new intel to go somewhere else. I left my 2 IC with radio and no one at HQ deemed it important to tell my guys, i had no idea, i tried contacting them to see how it was going on and nothing, because they hid the radio after been taken out. That’s how it happened, I had my orders, i got relieved i was not in charge of the Shock call and didnt hear it till later. No offence but not my fault, and so what if i’d have stayed, i dont think another person would have been able to hold on to 4 story. No offence it was a game, i had my orders which were deemed more important then my team….

No offence it was a year ago, that didnt effect the rest of my calls, i led from the front did that job, get over it. If anything the diaster lies on your shoulders, i left you in charge with the radio…if you were unable to think laterally and without new orders which you could have asked for from hq (ie confirmation and eta on reinforcements) then my only mistake was delegating something to you…

Something In The Making

10 03 2008

Oh yes, Auscam is coming home, AUG maybe on the way too, this week i have to get going with work or i will fall behind, a lot of stuff has been resolved (to an extent), Friday is going to be hard, but thank god for early day time comedy…i dont know what id do without my daily dose of Fraiser…especially since its kicking off from the Donnie era, and then Simon Moon will enter the scene if they continue running it…lolz

I got egged yesterday in a drive by, thats a first…kind of punctuated it all really, in a big sticky mess…I think this can of Strongbow on the desk is going to get the downing treatment.